sports are better than sex

talking through sports

noreply@blogger.com (Coach) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 03:35:00 +0000

I don’t much know how to talk to most people. I am more emotional than most people. To an excess I would say which can make life difficult to handle because the smallest things affect me in large ways. Some people simply cannot let the little things go because we know how they can cascade leaving us destroyed and alone trying to find logic within madness. Nature and nurture coming together to fuck with your mind or mine in this case. I made TO seem like Payton Manning.

I got kicked off more teams than I played on when it came to sports. My temper and inability to take criticism didn’t lend itself to getting along with coaches and people on a good day. The only reason some put up with me was because I would run through a wall to win a game. I am slow and white but man I had heart. Basketball was something where I could see a direct correlation between time in the gym versus success on the court. It was the first time in my life I was good at something. It is the only time in my life I have ever come close to being great in the confined geographic area of Edmonton, AB.

In Junior high because kids bullied me I ended up going to the high school to do Olympic weight lifting. I got kicked off my grade 9 ball team after I got lippy with my coach who spent more time putting us down than building us up. I saw that coach a few years later and man if I wouldn’t of gotten arrested I would of put his head through a wall.

How fucked up was I at that point of my life? I almost got kicked off my grade 9 volleyball team. I was a little and lot messed up at that point at my life. In some ways I was lucky because there were teachers who invested time trying to help me get on track. I don’t even think my dad knew when I was a Edmonton, Journal All-star. The thing about teachers and coaches is they have to be ready to be a parent because that is what you have to do as a kid that is messed up. You find surrogates in a way who for short times teach you how to be a man in my case.

Most times you never really talked about the painful stuff. The secrets we fear people will find out, the consequence of that knowledge when contrasted with fucken ideologies of man and how that fear can twist us in ways that are not good. It was a conversation while playing a game of 21. Learning how to simply interact with others. The things you might get from parents who cared enough to show up. Not only their fault. Society made us all feel like we worthless because we were poor. When you are poor you are afraid to go outside. Afraid people will ask you what you do.

Basketball court was the only place I ever felt safe to be me. Wild and beautiful although fucken crazy. Not making it up. Ask anyone who played with me or against me. It didn’t matter how nice my shoes were or my hair. I knew I could physically dominate the person across from me. I hated the idea of losing. I feared it like the plague. It was like I was free on the court and man when the ball touched my hands I forgot all my inner doubts, self hate, emotional problems and it was just me, my teammates and a beautiful game called basketball. A place where poor, messed up fuckers like myself could succeed. At least in my confined geographic region. I had no illusions of ever being able to play in the NBA or even US college. I was white and slow. At best I would be a guy who would play 2 minutes a game at a small US college as a hack a shaq.

You can call be Geba, a guy who if he hada a little more emotional control might of bothered to get a god dam education along the way playing college ball in the small, flat and brown mini texas we call Edmonton, AB.

who was that masked man in goal for Uruguay in COPA?

noreply@blogger.com (Coach) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 01:00:00 +0000

Yes ladies with tight, tight tops that don't cover enough skin I use to be a goalie back in the day. I would of continued to be a goalie if any of you girls had bothered come to watch me play. I tried all sports and not once did you show up. For a long time I was angry, hurt and bitter, but today watching Argentina and Uruguay in one of those boring days where you end up watching soccer or football because you can't get even a average girl anymore, I started to see the light. You were off watching the thief in goal for Uruguay. Lets just pretend time does not exist because based on my age that would mean you would watching nothing for a very long time. Nothing is worse than the boredom of doing nothing and watching nothing.

The kid is crazy. He is like the rubber man

with king kong's penis. I don't care who wins and while I am writing this I am sure I will find out. I am actually very nervous because I love the entertainment of penalty kicks. I hate the stress of them. I can't handle it man. Mommy!!!! hold me while I suck my thumb. That is weird. Why would I say mommy and not hot girl in tight, tight shirt? Because nobody knows how to make the boogie man go away like your mom.

this is what football is all about the announcer says. what do you think is going through these guy's minds?

am I going to get shot if I screw up? that is how big football is everywhere not called north america. we don't care here. don't have the patience for it. nobody knows how to sing together in north america. it would turn political very fast with our media. mom, dad and the bible don't like the hot girl in the tight, tight shirt even though the dna does.

who is that masked man in net for Uruguay? I cannot look. I have a clue. Mislara which is likely not even close to how it is spelled. Yes I can google. I don't like googling because spell check should know I cannot spell names.

Néstor Fernando Muslera

YOU are the man. The guy that all the hot, hot, girls in the tight, tight tops are watching. Even the average girls in the tight, tight tops are watching. You are the reason why I the geba walky will not be passing on my dna tonight. If I am honest you are one of many reasons I am not going to be passing on my DNA tonight.
I tip my hat to you masked man of Uruguay. You played with such courage today. Argentina and Lionel Messi played brilliant. The masked man was like a thief in the night he stole the glory and became the legend known as
Nestor "the thief, the masked man of Uruguay" Muslera ...

They made fun of me because I didn't know how to box

noreply@blogger.com (Coach) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 19:24:00 +0000

They made fun of me because I didn't know how to box out the second time in my life I played basketball. I was in Junior high which is when you are still little but less little that the really little people in elementary. We were in gym class playing this game basketball which I had only played once in my life. Peter some punk kid, made fun of the fact I didn't box out.

He was right, I didn't box out anyone because I no idea WTF boxing out was. How could I be expected to know about some technical term in basketball when my entire basketball knowledge base came from come fly with me, a Michael Jordan video? There was no google or yahoo to look online. If you consider my life up to that point there would be no logical reason why a kid in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, would know anything about a silly sport like basketball. Canada is a hockey country not a basketball one. I wanted to be number 99 not number 23.

Ironically Peter went on to study the piano and I did go on to play lots of basketball. I even became pretty good relative to my isolated geographic area. I actually become known near the end of my career for boxing out. It was one of the aspects of basketball where you can really punish the opposing team physically and get away with it. I always saved one foul a game for boxing out someone into the ground. Usually it was some punk guard like Peter was.

One silly comment resulted that every guard after Peter had to pay for.

This video should give you an idea what boxing out is if you don't know or at least the concept of it.

QOD: Did you know what boxing out was when you were younger?

the first time I played basketball was...

noreply@blogger.com (Coach) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 01:02:00 +0000

most kids in canada grow wanting to play hockey. every kid in edmonton, alberta in the gretzky era wanted to play hockey, at least the boy ones. they didn't have a hockey team in the small coastal town of bella coola in british columbia. they had a rink which adults played on at nights. there was nothing organized for kids to do so i played basketball.

when i say i played basketball i mean i remember sitting on a bench for one game. i don't know why just one. maybe it was because there was only one school in bella coola. the funny thing is i still can't fathom who we would of played. getting to bella coola by road was not something for the faint of heart because of the gravel road on the side of the mountain. likely easier to get to bella coola by boat or water plane.

i remember a crowd, a layup and not getting to play which likely was a good idea by whoever happened to be the coach at the time. i don't exactly remember their being a coach or other players. i do remember having my feelings hurt that i didn't get to play like any young person would. i was like 6 or 7 or 8 years old at the time. i had no idea really what the heck basketball was at the time.

i just did everything related to athletics i could. i was always the guy who signed up for all the events in track and field. i don't really remember why. it wasn't like my parents pushed me one way or another in terms of sports. it was generally up to me as long as it didn't cost a lot. how it is for every family i image. money determines what subset of sports you can do. not everyone can afford to jump horses. all you needed were shoes to run track. i suppose the same could be said of basketball if you already had the basketball.

the strange thing about balling back in the coola and my one glorious game on the bench is that is the only time i remember ever touching a basketball when i was really young. i wanted to play hockey. that was my only dream. every saturday i would watch hockey night in canada to see the oilers play. i was going to be wayne gretzky, not a basketball star.

what is one of your earliest memories of sports? do you remember it in detail or is a lot of it blurry like mine?